Indian Women: Where Are They?

I know that there exist something called women. I have seen them in my home — mother and cousins. I have also seen them at school and at college. But that’s about it.

I take out my scooty, hit the road, see many vehicles around — bikes, cycles, cars, vans, e-rikshas, and typical hybrid vehicles which cannot be categorized like other things Indian. But, all of them were driven by men, young and old, rich and poor. Yes, I found one woman riding a scooty; she was covered head to toe and had the power of a magnet: the eyes of men of all hues, turned to her, as for them the woman riding a scooty was more tempting than the joy of travelling, the joy of riding a scientific innovation.

I reached my destination. It was a place near a lake with a beautiful track. I, like many others, went for a walk there almost every other day. I thought I will find some health conscious women here. But I was disappointed; there were men around, again young and old, rich and poor. Some were running solo, some were walking in groups. Some were abusing, some were quiet. To my surprise, a girl appeared, finally; she was in a jogging attire. But she made it a point to dress ‘nicely’, lest she ‘invites’ anything. She ran and ran, better than many others, not very conscious of the curious stares and slow murmurs. But she was courageous, unlike me. I become so blank even if some eyes are staring at me. And here she was, bracing a full invasion of sometimes harming and sometimes unharming gaze.

I went again, this time to a nearby market. All the shop-owners were men, all their workers were men, and the people buying stuff and availing services were men, save for some women here and some women there. And, all these women looked alike, after all, they all were ‘appropriately’ dressed, matching the societal expectations with unmatched perfection. While men were colorful and diverse: some wore shorts, some wore vests, some wore kurtas, some wore clothes hard to categorize, as again with all things Indian.

I wondered where were all the women. Why were they missing from public places, from public sphere? Were they being ‘protected’ and ‘cared’ for? Or were they too happy to be in the domestic sphere, in the home, in the kitchen? Did they not have dreams? Public spaces looked so boring without them, it was just too monotonous to bear. World’s ‘largest minority’ was in hiding.

All this while being lost in the heteronormative binary of men and women, I totally forgot the Lesbians, the Gays, and Bisexuals, the Transgenders, the Queer community, and many others who could not relate with any neat categorization. Now, this was also something Indian, but unlike other things Indian, was not noticeable. I had seen them in the movies; heard my friends calling effeminate boys ‘gay’, as if it was a abuse, something to be loathed. I even knew how lesbians were fantasized in circles of men, yet again young and old, rich and poor. But when I set out to actually find them, they were nowhere there; even more ‘invisible’ than women.

I wish, badly wish, there was a world, where I could go for a walk at the park with not just men but humans who self-identified their gender and explored their sexuality. I wish, I could buy grocery from a shop owned by a transgender. I wish the diversity of Indian vehicles was equally matched by the diversity of their drivers. Being born as a male and socially conditioned to be a ‘man’, I wish, sometimes, I could live up to the lofty ideas I just expressed.